Ghost has become a Shadow of the Past

Dear Lebanese,

The current controversy around the most recent shutdown of another gay club Ghost in a vibrant city like Beirut is sad and discouraging. For a country that boasts its freedom of speech and eccentric way of living, Lebanon is failing to carry that banner. The mayors, parliament and ministers from a municipal level and a broader governmental level are focusing on implementing health laws against smoking indoors, which is failing miserably, and maintaining a law that violates human rights and freedom of sexual orientation, rather than focusing on the current security crises that is ongoing and rampant.

Dubai has outpaced us with every industry; they even have clubs that are gay friendly, like sublime and submarine.  I recently found out about one club has recently opened outdoors and has the gay flag right outside, I haven’t verified that since it has been many years since I was able to visit the city.  But from an economic perspective Gay tourism is a huge industry and Lebanon has just obviously taken another hit to its economy. Ghost is not actually running the economy but the message that gay tolerance in Lebanon is dying.

What Ghost meant to the LGBT community  was a lot of things.  It meant that I had the freedom to go and dance with my partner, to mingle without having to be persecuted for my sexual orientation. It meant that that there are alternative lifestyles in this city. I was a big fan of Acid though, which essentially impacted the man I am today, and when it shut down it broke a little piece of me. I was never a fan of ghost and its stench of sweat and short skirts and hip shaking men but I accepted it as it was. The Lebanese gay society is evidently suppressed and needs a place to vent that frustration and closing a nightclub like this will only lead to a negative outcome and it will not help the Dekwaneh residents in any way let alone build their moral standards. 

The real issue is the indescribable frustration the gay society has towards the government (or a lack of) and civil society for failing to protect minorities’ rights. I am hoping that Helem and other advocates of LGBTQ rights are gearing up for a big fight. Another fight that will get the people of Dekwaneh to reverse the Municipal Mayor’s decision (which had no real warrant in the first place). I hope that enough media gains traction on this issue to wake up the general public. Fight Back in any way you can.

Sincerely,

Adam.

The Greek God on the Plane

Dear Adam,

It was late in august of 2010, the day I met Khalil, I was the happiest boy when I did. I was on a thirty hour trip back from the US. If you want to fly for under a 1000 USD then you need to stop at five airports to have a good price. The last leg of my trip was Dubai – Beirut. I was tired I had barely slept, I smelled, I washed myself in the bathroom and changed my shirt twice already, my uncontrollable OCD with hygiene kicked in. I was wearing the worst clothes you could possibly imagine, completely black shoes, socks that went way past my ankles, grey and white checkered shorts, a dark green tshirt and I had my superman looking glasses instead of my irritable contacts. I felt beyond crappy.

The very epitome of a Greek God walks through the gate, he makes brief eye contact and I flush red as I dive into his dark eyes. The brief eye contact lingered  slightly longer than I expected  that ever. His complexion is tanned, he wore a black shirt that hugs his body and outlines a perfect physique, nothing quite too muscular but something extraordinary nonetheless. He is also wearing black trousers. I use any excuse to sit next to him and make small talk about how the flight is delayed. I strike conversation with ease, we exchange first names; it turns out he works in PR and is quite well spoken.  In the 30 minutes to boarding we talk about everything possible the chemistry is electric and the conversation dynamic and smooth flowing. I prayed that time would just stall right then and there. We spoke of the most random things, I kept trying to steer around the conversation to flush out his sexual orientation, a crying baby helped strike the subject , he told me that he would one day adopt a child. Bingo. He’s wrapped in the rainbow flag, I got confirmation.

He boarded the plane, and as he handed in his boarding pass I glance at his last name at keep record of it. I found my seat and hoped he wasn’t too far from where I sat. He was sitting a few rows in front of me, every time he would get up to fumble around the overhead storage area I would be sure to peer.  He would also briefly pass by my seat and tell me how bored he was, I believed it was just an excuse to chat with his new friend.

We landed in Beirut and we gathered our bags, he asked me what I was doing and if I wanted to head over to Hamra with a couple of his friends. I wonder if he was going to Bardo? I politely declined as my friend was picking me up from the airport and I had 30 hours of flight on me. I gave him my number, but in awkward rush of things he never reciprocated.

Weeks go by and I look him up on Google and Facebook, he was nowhere to be found.  I try different versions of his name to see if he might have spelled it differently. No luck. I tried LinkedIn and found his profile, I sent him a message and conversation was short and to the point with weeks before he would respond to a single message. We got to talking and I thought it would a good idea to ask him out. I am not the guy that takes the plunge, but life’s too short what the hell. I ask him out for a drink, he says he has been in a long term relationship with his partner. I sink.

 I was so sure he was the one. After sometime had passed, I realized I might have found the one… in someone else. 

Love,

You.